Protected: Looking Back at 2014


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To whom do I owe all my loss? [2]

It seemed to me when I was young
When my beard had started sprouting

That I was a lost soul
At times, a lost cause.

It seemed to me when I was young,
as an image of a rebellion

Inhaling darker smoke;
exhaling blasphemy;

I was a forgotten plaything.
I was an effigy to be

demolished by angrier men
Whose beards have raised countless dead men.

I got even more lost when I
met the greats in their papyri

But that sense of being astray
has de’eloped hope in me today.

Hope, in which I have lost soon over.

It seemed at first convoluted
Until I have met my masters.

They took me by hand and showed me
A way which brought sorrow at first,

trailed through the slime and the cold muk,
and then brought me back together


I sculpted statues out of my clay skin.
It made the wicked people smile.

I reciprocated their smiles,
for quick temporal elations.

It was a blue cheer
contrasted by sadness.

A strange kind of melancholy.
Happiness contoured by despair.

Pleasing, nonetheless.

But now…
But now I ask myself:
To whom do I owe all my loss?

like my reasonability,
My sentiments were shrouded, as
responsibilities beckoned.

Perhaps it was hormonal.
It would go with time, I said.

What could I have done
when they all came and went?
when I was created as such?
when I didn’t choose any of it?

What could have been done has been done!
It passed now. I must go on.

I stand strong now
As indulgant as ever, now

Nothing’s wrong with a hedonist
‘Cept for lazy idealists

There was nothing I could have done.


I have explored all galaxies.
Gathered all the stars, and embraced them.
It was a great venture and escape.
The great Mario would have been proud.

Alas, my plunder was fruitful.
Or maybe nothing was.

No matter how much I inject,
It never quenched
my insatiable thirst.


I have gathered enough data
to feed one hundred hungry men.

But no man came to me,
or woman.
But only my shadow.
Only my shadow.

They told me
“A man can be destroyed,
but not defeated.”
I felt destroyed and defeated.

But it would all pay off!
A janitor’s job feeds his children.
A samurai’s blade feeds his ego.

But I, who have made a pact
with a devil in disguise,

have failed to honour the pact
and failed to find meaning to something.
Was it because I was weak?
Or was there none initially.

Again I ask myself: To whom do I owe my loss?!

On the ground, I pick the glass,
Grape juice

Here’s to greatness
Here’s to welfare
Here’s to morality

Never heard an audible clink.

I-I was not lost, I told myself.
At a loss, always at a loss!

It turned out I was not merely lost.
O, how much of a fool I was.
I lost.

Accomplishments of 2015

Who could believe that we’ve went over 2014? It seems like 2014 started just yesterday. Oh, how the time goes by when you’re having fun. In this page, I am going to mark all of my achievements for 2015.

  1. [1st of Jan] Celebrating the transition between 2014 and 2015 with Fahad Bin-Zayid.
  2. [1st of Jan] I watched Rance: defender of the desert. [2.8(m)]
  3. [3rd of Jan] I read The Little Prince, by  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry[9.5(l)]
  4. [6th of Jan] I completed watching Tenkuu no Escaflowne. [8.9(m)]
  5. [9th of Jan] I read The Waste Land, by T.S. Eliot. [9.5(l)]
  6. [10th of Jan] I read Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare[9.1(l)]
  7. [11th of Jan] I read Strip, by Halla Abdulla[4(l)]
  8. [15th of Jan] I finally deactivated my twitter account.
  9. [16th of Jan] I read Matoolat Turfa bin Al-Abd, by Turfa bin Al-Abd[9.5(l)]
  10. [19th of Jan] I watched Top Wa Na Rai: GunBuster. [7.3(m)]
  11. [23rd of Jan] I read Lord of the Flies, by William Goldling[9.6(l)]
  12. [3rd of Feb] I finished reading Gharamiyyat Share’u-l A’sha, by Badriyyah Al-Bisher[8.8(l)]
  13. [5th of Feb] I read The Fault In Our Stars, by John Green[7.7(l)]
  14. [6th of Feb] I read The Birds, by Aristophanes[9.4(l)]
  15. [10th of Feb] I read A Doll’s House, by Henrik Ibsen[9.3(l)]
  16. [14th of Feb] I climbed Jal Al-Zur, and saw a 10 million year old dried river.
  17. [28th of Mar] I watched Durarara!! X2 Shou. [8.3(m)]
  18. [3rd of Apr] I completed watching Haruhi Suzumiya no Yuutsu. [9.1(m)]
  19. [3rd of Apr] I completed watching Kill la Kill. [7.8(m)]
  20. [3rd of Apr] I completed watching Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. [9.2(m)]
  21. [4th of Apr] I finally quit from CityPages Kuwait.
  22. [24th of Apr] I read The Joke, by Milan Kundera[9.6(l)]
  23. [7th of May] I watched Fruits Basket. [9.1(m)]
  24. [7th of May] I read A’ed Ila Heifa, by Ghassan Kanafani[8.9(l)]
  25. I read Awraq Alzaytoun by Mahmood Darwish
  26. [11th of May] I read Awal Aljasad Akher Albahr, by Adunis[9(l)]
  27. [11th of May] The Spring semester ended, and I got the highest marks in the university in all of my courses.
  28. [12th of May] I went to Prof. Edward Davis to discuss what to study in the Summer.
  29. [15th of May] I read Frankenstein, by Mary W. Shelley[7.8(l)]
  30. [15th of May] I cut my hair.
  31. [19th of May] I formated my PC, and fixed it.
  32. [21st of May] I finished Super Mario Galaxy again.
  33. [11th of Jun] I read The Girl You Left Behind, by Jojo Moyes[8.6(l)]
  34. [24th of Jun] I gave Zuhoor Madame Flaubert, and her smile made me for the first time in months, very ecstatic.
  35. [26th of Jun] I read Cannery Row, by John Steinbeck[9.8(l)]
  36. [1st of Jul] I read Just So Stories, by Rudyard Kipling[9(l)]
  37. [8th of Jul] I made a new twitter account to relieve my anxiety and stress, and to get rid of depression. Also, I wanted to help students in their mathematics.
  38. [10th of Jul] I taught a student Calculus II, and she passed with good marks.
  39. [22nd of Jul] I cooked the vegetable stock that changed my outlook on my life.
  40. [27th of Jul] I read The Pigeon, by Patrick Suskind[9.2(l)]
  41. [27th of Jul] I officially established my Ebda’a club of Drama.
  42. [1st of Aug] I read Cyclops, by Euripides[7.9(l)]
  43. [2nd of Aug] I read Medea, by Euripides[8.3(l)]
  44. [5th of Aug] I read Peace, by Aristophanes[9.1(l)]
  45. [3rd of Aug] I spent the last few days with my mama Hessa, before she left for Germany. She was so very happy.
  46. [7th of Aug] I spent the last days with Ayyad jogging and chatting and such, before he left for Turkey. We had a lot of good time together.

الكويت، ببساطة.

الكويت هي ثلة من البشر، وقلة من أشباه البشر؛ أناس حقوقهم أقل، أو لا حقوق لهم إلا ما هو واجب علينا أن نعطيهم.

البشر هم الكويتيون، ويندر منهم من هو خير. يحبون المتعة والمرح والتلذذ بالراحة الزائدة والحلوى الغالية. يبغضون العمل، بل يكرهونه، ويقللون من قيمة المجتهد ولا يرضون بمغالاة الأخيار من الناس. يتبعون، كالعميان، ما يعزز من صورتهم أمام الغير. مجتمع أقل من الراقي بدرجات. ثري، وكسول. لا ذوق له، يرضى بالقليل والكثير ولا يفرق بينهما. يحب المدح والمجاملة ويكره المسؤولية. يحب الكلام من غير علم، والعلم من غير مصدر، والتفكر من غير منطق، والشهوة من غير حب. لا يعرف قيمة نفسه ولذلك يفرض على الجميع قيم مبتكرة، وبذلك يتولد الكبرياء والحماقة فيهم. يحتاجون إلى البصيرة والشرف والتسامح والحكمة، لأنهم لم يروا منها في حياتهم كلها. تاريخ الكويت لم يولد العظماء، ونحن الآن بأمس الحاجة إلى قدوات كويتية. مستوى الكويت سيتدهور، بلا شك، إن لم نفعل شيئا حيال الإصلاح الإقتصادي والإجتماعي.

دعني من الكويتيون، لنرى حال غير الكويتيون. منهم الطيب ومنهم الحسود. منهم المتعلم الذي يبني الكويت، ومنهم من ينهب بثرواتها من أجل كسب قوته اليومي — ولكنني لا ألومهم لأن الكويتيون يرضون بذلك. يسبون كثيرا، ألسنتهم تقطر من الفاحش من القول. التعصب فيهم أمر طبيعي جدا. أيما حلوا، يخربون، إلا من كانت لديه معايير عالية. أغلبهم يتمنى لو كان هو كويتي، ولكنه لا يعلم أن الجنسية الكويتية لعنة.

الكويتيون بدون الجنسية حالهم سيء جدا، وما هم بإعتبار بشر من قلة حقوقهم، وهذا عار على الكويت.

لا أدري ما هو حال الكويتيين في الماضي، ولكنني لا أتصور بأنه أسوأ من كويت اليوم. من قصصي جدتي، أستنبط الخيرة في الناس، ومن مرأى عيناي أرى الفاحشة في الكويت. معيشة ضنكا، هذه التي تكون مع كويت اليوم. يا للحسارة والخجل.

كويتي التي أراها هي كويت المحبة والمغفرة؛ كويت الإقتصاد والسياسة والتجارة والإجتماع. قد أكون مثالي، ولكنني ليس كليا خارج عن الواقع. هذه كويتي في المستقبل. الكويت التي عشتها كانت جميلة جدا. بالنسبة لي، الكويت هي حرارة الشمس في أرضية باحة المنزل؛ صوت شاحنة النفايات في الثالثة فجرا؛ مكبوس الدجاج لجدتي بالحشو والدقوس؛ إختراق رماح الشمس لأوراق الشجر في الممشى؛ إنتشار رائحة البخور في أرجاء البيت؛ إسهاب الأصدقاء في مدح ألعابهم الإلكترونية؛ هدوء مكتبة المسجد في مغربية يوم الجمعة. هذه الكويت التي عشتها، ولكنها تغيرت. وأنا ليس من كارهي التغيير، بل أنا أؤمن بأن التغيير سيد العالم. ولكنني أخره الخمول والفساد والكسل والراحة الزائدة.

الكويت، كحكومة، شبه محطمة. بنية مؤسساتها ركيكة. حماماتها قذرة. تحتاج الوساطة لتأخذ حقك. شخصيات الناس متماثلة جدا. المجتهد الذكي أشبه بالمعدوم. كل الناس عندها إنستغرام وسنابشات ومطعم همبرغر ومحل كب-كيك. أكاد أن أقول بأن الكويت ليست دولة بمعنى كلمة دولة، بل هي مجمع كبير ذو غرف سكنية. الله يغير حالنا.

Beauty In Quietude V. 2

On the altar of the temple
In the altitude of clouds
On the scales of Zagros
petals are laid
Unto what would be the cradle of kings
hospitable to the conduits

Roses are laid elegantly, forcibly,
with no fabricated acceptances
Stimulated olfactory desires; tantalizing
of flesh pure, smooth, and white.
so white, so white.
As mid-winter snow embedding Zagros, whitening.

The fathers have passed,
and only their patrimony remains:
On smooth inclines;
on pink hilltops;
On valleys so wide, and the vortex therewith;
On dunes undisturbed
and beaches to be turfed.
On passes extending
to local peaks unweathered.

Slaves here and there, gathering
The reddest of petals, suffering
The coldest of weather, preparing
A slave to the gods of men, to be.

Thoughts run amok in a head,
behind a face so pleasing a-sight,
and silence is its greatest potential.
Once chosen, not even fate interferes.

Now, as being prepared,
the spirits of quiet haunt the place.
No connections are visible here,
and no communication as well,
save for the screeching tradition.

Now, the worth that in which was bestowed upon,
(but to whom?),
is greater than that of gold,
and the value less than that
of an ill pig to an iller pig in trade.

Bring forth the bride.
Let fortune bequeath that which we made deserve.
And let no mute tell her otherwise,
but that the only voice she can produce is approval,
out of love and appreciation,
for she now pleases more than just the king.
The gods are smiling above, can’t you see?

And now, never shall we listen to her
beautiful sing-song singing
in the cold showers echoing through the Zagros,
but to, hitherto unheard,
songs of her most beautiful daughters.

Let there be beauty in quietude,
in respect of our king,
and the music of skin and bones shall
continue for all eternity.

Our Field Trip on Valentine’s Day.

When I last checked, Kuwait University was not one of the best 100 universities in the world, nor was it even one of the best universities in the middle east. And Kuwait also doesn’t have such a geographical significance. But at least we have The Geology Club here in our college of science to highlight the marvelous things about Kuwait University and the geography of Kuwait. And my, what an amazing job they’ve done in yesterday’s field trip!

Hamad Al-Hindi, my friend, picked me up on 7:30AM and as soon as we arrived on campus, we were introduced to the organizers and the attendees, and most importantly Prof. Rao. Muhammad, Hamad, and I were outsiders, so, speaking of myself, I didn’t particularly know anyone there. Right before the professor came, a small argument ensued on whether the students could smoke on the bus. There was a little troublemaker amongst us who even said he’d smoke in spite of everyone. I threatened Muhammad just to give the other guy an idea that wise guys weren’t welcome. He was occupied for the rest of the trip with handing us drinks and crisps.

We were told that this was more of a picnic than a field trip and that we should be careful of steep hills, of the dangers of the wilderness, and of snakes and scorpions (which were absent, probably because it’s winter). Prof. Rao was really nice, he gave us a brief introduction to Geology, how observation is key, and how knowledge is acquired in that field.

We embarked the buses (we were distributed to three separate buses, one bus for us boys and two for girls) and went to a cross-road near Jal Al-Zur. While going through the long road there, we were properly introduced to Professor Rao. He taught us about the correlation between Remote Sensing and Geology.

We stopped and stepped out between the road and the hills, so he could ask us of what we had realized in the structure of the hills, and the colors of the layers, then he proceeded to teach us about the geology behind the phenomena.

Upon arrival, we were reminiscing the old tales of Kulaib and Salim. We went to the hills and climbed them by foot. We tested the rocks to see if they contained Calcium (test results were positive), and we broke some rocks to see their layers. We looked at the planes on the hills left by the falling boulders and discussed the reasons behind their flat surfaces.

Hamad and I were far behind in climbing. We were slow and careful, which made us take our time in climbing but we did it, we reached the top and sat there for an hour or so. I was surprised to see the girls as energetic and enthusiastic as the boys were, because that’s something you would never see in campus.

Once on top, Muhammad Al-Ubaidi and I recited old Arabic poetry, and held a discussion with the boys about Physics and Geology. We felt on top of the world! The view was magnificent, and the weather was perfect. We left our mark there, of course: Muhammad’s typical E=mc^2.

The place turned out to be occupied, however, by the military, and so we left to Al-Zur to observe the rocks there. We had to have a stop in a Police Department midway because some wanted to pee and pray (not necessarily simultaneously). I caught Prof. Rao alone for a second, so I asked him if he knew Rabindranath Tagore. For some reason, I was surprised when he said he did (maybe because I rarely see a Science professor interested in literature.), as well as his knowledge of Tagore’s friendship with Einstein and Gandhi. When the boys were done with prayer, we discussed the importance of Logic in science and in life in general while waiting for the others to finish their smoke. There was a student who caught my attention there. Other than being charismatic, he was nice and bright. I really liked him. There were particularly two pretty girls (sisters, probably) who carried red bags and were also charismatic; they were jolly and merry, and their presence throughout the trip lightened up the atmosphere.

In Al-Zur, we collected even more rocks, and it turned out that a lot of the rocks there had iron in them. Prof. Rao told us that it was most probable the iron came from flotsam. We looked at some other rocks from a magnifying glass and saw the quartz crystals, and the random distribution of elements in the rocks. We had a discussion there on the effects of heat, time and pressure on the layers in any rock.

There wasn’t much interaction between the boys and girls, which was strange. I thought at first that the students of the Geology department were conservatives, and I still think that’s the case, but just to be fair, both boys and girls feel pressure. I don’t think this is healthy for science students. I also noticed that some students held on to their tribal roots, and that is scary! I was disappointed the most right at Al-Zur when I realized that almost none of the students had an interactive or strong character; I only wish the best for science students, and judging from their typical Kuwaiti reactions and responses, they’re not on the right track.

Muhammad, Hamad, and I went on on our own way for a bit to walk on the beach beside the ebbing water. It was muddy and the water was calm but very distant. We lied on our backs and, looking at the sky, talked about our futures and the future of Kuwait and Science. It was a magical moment, before it got awkward and silly. We held a race in which I lost the first, and won the last. Then lunch was served and we went to eat. It was a pain washing our hands, but where’s the adventure in no-pain?

The majority of the time afterwards was spent skipping rocks, which I was beyond horrible at. I hurt my shoulder trying to skip a rock, then retired to the bus. Muhammad and Hamad were pros! I was jealous and proud at the same time.

We had two stops before returning home. The sun was already setting, so we didn’t have much time. The first stop was somewhat spontaneous. We saw camels outside, and went to caress them (not sexually, of course). We took a LOT of pictures. Muhammad and I, instead, read even more poetry by Abu-Firas Al-Hamadani, and Al-Mutanabbi.

Our last stop was to a dried down ten million year old river. The other students were tired, and some even sleepy. Two students did not want to visit the last stop as if one could deny the pleasure of seeing an ancient dead river. We studied the flow of the river by looking at the ruins of the flow of water in the river and its channels. There wasn’t much to wander around for as the moon rose halfway signalling us for departure.

We were all exhausted by the time we returned. Some of us slept, and some of us fought sleep till the last second. We sung merrily and laughed at intervals. The whole trip was out of this world. It took us a couple of hours to return, in which we downed all the water and Pepsi till we got sick. When we entered Kuwait City, we opened our windows and waved at the people as if we’ve arrived from another world, bewildered of this one’s traditions.

Our trip officially ended at 7:40PM, with us half-asleep and barely standing. It was one of my best moments in college, and I really wish we’d go on trips like that more often. I think I speak for all of us, or at least, the three of us, when I thank The Geology Club, Sarah and her friends, and Prof. Rao for making this trip possible, and with my sincerest wishes for the best of all of our newly acquired friends.